I've been feeling really odd since coming back from Florence. Or perhaps "odd" isn't the right word. "Bothered" seems more right. I've been having a slightly bothered feeling since coming back from my semester abroad in Italy. This feeling came upon me stepping out of the airplane back onto US soil. All of a sudden I was awash with this intense heavy emotion of loneliness and sorrow.

The thing is, I know exactly why I am feeling this way. In fact, I knew this would happen several weeks before I even left, and tried to take steps to prevent it from happening. Unfortunately, this has left me with some regrets for things that went unsaid and actions left undone. However, were I to go back in time, I don't think I would do any differently.

I guess I'm just homesick, but for what I'm not sure. Not for any particular place, but a feeling of a place. My home here in Charlotte is still my home, but it's tiring to come back to and having to deal with all the crap (literally) lying around. On arriving, I immediately want to leave. But what else is there? DC is not a home. Boston was less of a home than DC. My apartment in Florence felt more like a home than any other place I've stayed at, but at the same time it's not a place I'd want to live. Italy is not my home. What I miss about Florence was just having people with whom I felt comfortable with. I miss that atmosphere of openness, acceptance and comfort that I don't get in DC. I of course have that here in Charlotte, but with family it is always different, isn't it?

I can't say for certain at this point whether I've changed after coming back from Italy, but it's left me wanting to do things differently. Knowing myself though, I can't give much assurance that I actually will, but I think I will try this time.